When born, we are conditioned or molded throughout life which can affect our views, perception, and understanding of what exists around us. Sometimes those conditions are broken with the growth of individuality or they simply become a part of that individuality. Conditioning isn't necessarily malicious and may be an attempt to ensure the development of a person with favorable characteristics. The problem comes into play when the interpretation of those favorable characteristics are of a bias nature.
The problems that may have existed in how we were raised don't necessarily seem to be a problem until there is a moment of emotional maturity, emotional clarity, or a "coming to Jesus moment" with who we are as individuals. Even then those problems aren't something that we can just erase. It can only be assumed that those who raised us did the best they could with the emotional tools they had. Somewhere down the line, maybe the parents and guardians didn't realize the negative impacts of their conditioning process.
It's not uncommon to hear people state that they finally found themselves. They finally found the person that they were meant to be. Well if you really think about it, why wouldn't they know earlier? In some cases, what we were raised to know and understand is the exact things that suppress who we are as individuals. Not meeting those conditions in which we were raised can leave a feeling of being disloyal, not normal, or breaking rules.
All this conditioned jabber is also a contributor to what some may consider to be the "generational curse". Following the same rules of life whether negative or positive will most likely yield the same results. There comes a point in time where you have to recognize the problem and make the change.